goose bumps receeding but not for long!

After a three hour long meeting it was determined among other things that our case would be worked on next week and it sounded VERY positive! The lat email I got VERY LATE for Liberian time was not to hope a plane this weekend after all, but probably next week! Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh, exhaling a bit. I want Daniel HOME so badly, but even for me a weekend with a future daughter in law's international farewell, a daughter's baby shower, and son's 21st birthday were all a bit much to handle while packing and prepping to leave the country and bring home our special needs baby!(That is not even mentioning the regular house amd farm stuff and how to relegate it to others while I am gone! God's timing is perfect and today He reminded me of that again. I'm very disappointed that we didn't get THE answer today, but I am confident that it is coming SOON and that, is simply awesome!!!!!!!!!! I am rejoicing!

as the goose bumps grow!

I am waiting with baited breath, layers upon layers of goose bumps and a pounding heart fo ra phoen call or an email from Liberia. Our case is before the officials right now, with our dossier in hand. I got a call a little while ago saying to BE PREPARED TO LEAVE FOR LIBERIA ON SUNDAY! I will definitely let Y'all know what the results of this are!!

Joshua and Daniel

My oldest son turned 35 today. I find this to be virtually impossible, even though I know its true...(I WAS there!!) This is a family joke because I declared long ago that I thought 42 was a big enough number for an age, so I quit adding any more numbers to my 42 years,even as the birthdays keep coming. Oldest son asked me several years ago how I was going to handle having a son whose age was almost equal to my own. I told him simply that I had no problems with it and I hope he didn't either. I DID tell him he had to quit referring to himself as a "fat middle aged guy" however because a 42 year old mom could not HAVE a midddle aged son, fat or not! My hair stylist and my eye doctor's staff don't buy the "other number " story so why should my son blow my cover by "getting old"??!!! I make me laugh!!!

Incredible....35 years ago I was a teen -aged mom with yellow polish on her toe nails, giving birth in the 45th Army Field Hospital in Vicenza, Italy. TODAY I am praying fervently because the baby boy who will be my youngest son Daniel is the subject of a serious meeting in Africa tomorrow. I had hoped and prayed that I'd hear a good report on Joshua's birthday, but the day after would be fine too! We are all ready and eager for Daniel to be allowed to come home!! I have loved, I am still loving, being a mom for 35 years!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

comings and goings with eye glasses, diaper bags and beans

I have missed Malachi and Sopheak this last week while they have been in Florida!! Naomi said, "It feels like Malachi moved out again and Sopheak went back to Cambodia" and right now she's right. We all miss them!!! I go to Tulsa and pick them up tomorrow after noon. We are ALL ready!!!! I hope they had a totally awesome time at Disney World. THANK YOU HANNAH PALMER AND FAMILY FOR BRINGING THEM OUT AND CARING FOR MY KIDDOS SO LOVINGLY AND GENEROUSLY!!!!
Our old eye care insurance plan was pretty good, except for the choice of eye docs; our new plan is a bit pricier, but THAT IS FINE WITH ME!!!! Our choice of doctors is much broader, we have LOCAL OPTIONS and this week was eye check -up week. I knew I needed a new prescription and knew Jael did too, "thought " that Isaiah was next to get glasses, and I was leaning toward Rachel following right on Isaiah's heels. I was right. Jael's eyes are much worse than a year ago, alarmingly so...to the point that even with correction she may not be able to pass the eye exam when she goes for her drivers license next spring!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I was not prepared for that, neither was the doctor. He ran several extra tests to assess WHY her vision is so poor. Upshot is that probably where her optic nerve attaches to her brain there is a weak or faulty attachment. We will be praying over this for sure! She plans to be a large animal veterinarian and no one I know is going to choose a poor sighted doctor to do surgery on their livestock!!! Isaiah got his new glasses today , Rachel's will be in shortly. Thankfully, Isaac, Leah, Noah and Naomi had perfect checkups and thankfully our insurance covers as much as it does as well as it does!!! The kids' glasses were far less costly than I expected, as were my own progressive bifocal lenses (whew!!!) I'd know if Malachi needed new glasses this year or not, but the glitch with the insurance is that despite Malachi definitely being listed on our policy, the vision carrier doesn't have him listed. ( Found that out when he went last week, taking time off work, and was told that he is not covered. Four phone calls and 3 emails later with our HR rep, and I was told and emailed that he was on the list, the problem had been fixed. NOT SO even today when the clinic clerk told me they were still denying him. MORE calls to HR for help...............)Hope its fixed by his next appointment on Tuesday!! I bet Esther has a perfect eye exam.
After getting the overly tight thumb screw off my new sewing machine so I could change the needle Hannah broke the other night, tonight I finished ripping apart the diaper bag she bought for Charlie, cut up an old BDU Marine uniform ( "camo" for the lay reader) and recovered all the flaps and pockets of the beige bag with military fabric, and added the name and US MARINE tags from Jon's uniform as well. That was some thick sewing but I am so pleased with how it turned out!! I think Hannah will like it too when she sees it at her baby shower on Saturday. I'm not done crocheting her baby-camo colored cargo net -looking afghan for Baby Charlie's room yet, but JUST GET ME ON A PLANE TO LIBERIA AND IT WILL BE!!!!!! They simply didn't keep me waiting long enough at the doctor last week when Isaac and Jael both injured ankles, or at the eye doc either, for me to get any real work done!!! LOL!
When it got cold and rainy last night and knocked out the power and inter net for the night, and the moring was still cold and gray I thought it would be cold all day so I planned a big pot of barley soup with home baked bread for dinner. HA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Poor Daddy Charlie ended up in a sweat over dinner. We don't usually do hot soups on hot summer days, but it was a request by several of the children that I do barley soup and bread. NOT A CRUMB of bread was left, they practically "rock,paper, scissored" over the last slice. It was delicious nonetheless and adding some fresh diced squash to the veggie mix in the soup didn't hurt it at all!
FINALLY started to harvest green beans today. The Mamma of Calico Acres ate almost all the beans, raw, and they were really yummy! Guess we'll need to harvest a lot more tomorrow if there will be beans to go with the last home grown ham for Sunday dinner. I can be assured that I will have an abundance of squash and zuchinni ifthe beans are not enough.
I love this farm life, love to create, love to nurture our children, love what God had in mind for my once-upon-a -time Big City girl life.

Favorite Kid photos

">
4th of July 2007, my three favorite youngest sons!

LOVE watching Leah ride. Esther taught her well!

Jael Rachel and Naomi play dressup for the Photo op!

grown kids come home to raid the fridge.gotta love it!

Who but our Hannah would go for a jump on the trampoline in her wedding gown? She did, with new daughter Mady and littlest sister Naomi, who were two of her flower girls



Naomi, in one of her first days with us in Vietnam



Malachi and Esther in Cambodia with their youngest brother while we fought at home with the govt to get Isaiah Guhn Kear home with his already adopted bio sib sisters. These three have a very special bond!

AND praying for my friend Jill's daughter Naomi too!!

Jill just im'd me to say they were on their way to the ER in Phillie for little daughter Naomi. SOMETHING has been going on in her body, which doctors are testing over, but have not diagnosed yet. Something seems to be awry in her circulatory system and its causing her to experience episodes of the area around her mouth, and her exremeities to turn blue from lack of oxygen circualting in her bloodstream. Shes not growing or digesting her food as a healthy child would either.
Heavenly Father as I thank You for the health of my children, even for our Naomi whose Hep B counts remain so high but exhibits no signs of genuine illness, I praise you that these children are in families who are able to obtain good quality medical care for them. I am reminded again of the many who are not able to get medical care for their loved ones, like Matthew..............or even our Daniel right now............ Father, Please direct the doctors to use their skills and talents to diagnose and treat Abby and Naomi, to Your glory. By Your Holy Spirit, comfort these families and keep them from fear. Thank You that we can lift them up together as Your body. Thank You for the technology that allows us all around the country and the world to share our prayer requests and our praises with each other.

Praying for Abby Riggs, this morning!

My PRAYING FOR ABBY button is always where readers can see it quickly. Today is a PRAYING FERVENTLY FOR ABBY DAY.

Blake

James Dobson is quoted as saying,"I have concluded that the accumulation of wealth, even if I could achieve it, is an insufficient reason for living.

When I reach the end of my days, a moment or two from now, I must look backward on something more meaningful than the pursuit of houses, land, stocks and bonds ~ nor is fame of any lasting benefit.

I will consider my earthly existence to have been wasted unless I can recall a loving family, a consistent investment in the lives of people, and an earnest attempt to serve the God who made me.
Nothing else makes much sense."

Someone shared that quote with my prayer and fellowship group this morning and all I could say was "amen" as I read it.
His words took on a new meaning for me as my day unfolded. Hannah and Jon had enrolled 11 1/2 year old Blake in the local Christian school, and applied for a scholarship to help with tuition.Jon is still out of work, but part of his child support for Blake was supposed to go toward helping Blake get into a better school environment, for more spiritual support for Jon and Hannah as parents, and just more structure and support all around for Blake. He has been excited about it right down to "YAY" for uniforms!!!, and then the money became an issue. Again. I suggested that we do a scholarship car wash for Blake, and set it up. When Hannah and Jon told Blake about doing a car wash for school money, he asked if it was just going to be the three of them. Hannah said,"No, Grammy, Pappa Charlie, the kids, probably (our boy's friends) Peter and Andy, maybe Abby." He said "WHAT???????????????????" "They are doing that for ME??" "They know they don't HAVE TO do this , right?" "WHY do they want to help me?" He could not get his mind around the fact that family and friends just help each other.To explain: His bio- mom and living situation have never been like that and as a result, Blake himself can be pretty difficult to hang out with. His worldview is pretty much what his mom has taught him by example and word..."Its all about me, get out of my way, I am going to get what's mine...ME first, You want it? Get it YOUR OWN SELF." I cried when Hannah shared Blake's reaction with me. He has helped us with a couple of mission trip car washes when it was his weekend with Jon and Hannah, but he just did it because Jon told him that's what was going on that day. That FAMILY, particularly "step" family, or friends, would spend a day in the 96 degree heat on a Saturday hoping for cars to wash SO THEY COULD GIVE THE MONEY TO BLAKE was so big to him! Sadly, his bio mom didn't come, his third Gramma didn't stop by except to say "hi" and leave. It was not the most "successful" car wash we've ever done, in terms of dollars, but as I thought about that, thought about how we were really ministering to Blake just by BEING there: Dobson's words came back to me with a fresh meaning. I knew they were totally true. I didn't know God was going to bless me with such a down home object lesson to "prove" it.
My grandson needs to know in so many ways that are not familiar to him, that he is loved just for being Blake, that he has value, that he is deserving of invested time and effort, that THIS is how God designed and intends family: blood family, "Step" family, adopted family, Body of Christ family, to love each other. Someone told me the other day that this is the "Royal Command" that we love each other as ourselves. I wasn't thinking about Blake when I heard that expression, I wasn't thinking about the reality of a "Royal Command" when we were all out hopping up and down on the sidewalk with our CAR WASH signs( which Hannah and I painted last night) or taking turns washing dirty cars and trucks and advertising out on the sidewalk. I wans't thinking when I planned a car wash for Blake's tuition that it would be anything more than washing cars for tuition. It was FAR BEYOND that. If we'd made $10, it wouldn't have made much difference. GOD'S PLAN for the day was that we show Blake how He wants us to get real and love each other. By the end of the day, Blake had been ministered to maybe more than weeks of anything else could have ministered. Blessed be the Name of the Lord for how He knew to direct us to love on Blake!!

Life goes on, but I'm still "stuck" in Africa

Lots to rejoice over this week,and I have been rejoicing. Two friends brought their precious new children home, 2 from Ukraine and 1 from India, all so precious in God's sight and now precious in the sight of a forever mommy and daddy, and sibs! These three children have Down Syndrome. Through their adoptive families God has given NEW LIFE to those children, and I hope, a boost of confidence for others to consider Down Syndrome or other special needs children as well. Another friend's family moved forward to the next step in their paperwork to bring home a new daughter, also a special needs toddler. This sweet one, loved of God, has HIV. I am so thankful that there are families who ask God "WHAT DO YOU ME TO DO LORD?" and when He replies with what many would call a hard answer, maybe "too hard" they have said "YES LORD". I'm thankful that when Eric got the call for his new kidney that his doctor was super picky, and hard as it was to hear, Eric too said "YES LORD" (Oh Eric is the daddy rejoicing over that next step in paperwork for his new daughter!!) There are others. Friends whose child had been caught up in a ridiculous DHS investigation saw the books closed this week on that case. HER sister is celebrating the completion of 27 weeks of pregnancy in this her third pregnancy. Her first two babies were born at near 23-24 weeks and were just not mature enough to be able to keep living as born babies. Her preborn Malachi (Don't you LOVE that name. he he he) is doing well, she's on bed rest but rejoicing that at 27 going on 28, weeks she NEEDS bed rest.
Yet, in all that , I am still "Stuck" on Africa. There is still bickering going on over Matthew, a little less perhaps amidst the sadness, but bickering and a lot of defensive behavior. My prayers have been for the deep hurts that have occured in all the events which led up to Matthew's death. My prayers are in line with the Psalmist and with the words of the song..."Blessed be Yor Name"......"when the darkness closes in Lord, STILL I will say: Blessed be the Name of the Lord, Blessed be Your Name" and I am praying for comfort for those aching hearts beating in the bodies of Matthew's birth mom, his adoptive family who had loved him since last fall, his would've-been-adopted-brother Charles, who is still an orphan in Liberia, the family who was all lined up and prepared to welcome him into their home as a medical visa host family, the agency people who worked to help Matthew.............Any and all of those could grow a root of bitterness, lay blame, be angry, sidestep responsibility, or even lose hope. FORBID IT LORD! The Psalmist David in 2 Samuel 22 (read the whole chapter PLEASE? Its powerful!!!) Anyhow in verse 4 David says "I will call uoon the Lord, who is worthy to be praised, so shall I be saved from my enemies"
Our enemies ARE OFTEN heart attitudess like unforgiveness, anger, bitterness, lost hope. they are enemies sent by The enemy, Satan to defeat us and take our eyes off the FACT that OUR GOD REIGNS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! David says later in that 22nd chapter (see I told you it was powerful) in verses 29-37
"For You are a lamp oh Lord , The Lord shall enlighten my darkness. For by You I can run agaisnt a troop: By my God I can leap over a wall. As for God, His way is perfect. The Word of the Lord is proven: He is a shield to all who trust him. For who is God , except the Lord? And Who is a rock, except our God? God is my strength and power, And he makes my way perfect. He makes my feet liek the feet of deer and sets me on high places. He teaches me to make war so that my arms can bend a bow of bronze. You have also given me a shield of Your salvation: Your gentleness has made me great, You enlarged my path under me; so my feet did not slip."
God prepares us, equips us, for war against our enemy/enemies. In some contexts that refers to actual physical enemies, but often David's enemies, like our own, are right from 2 Corinthians 10:4.."strongholds, arguments and every high thing that exalts itself against the knowledge of God" And Paul reminds us that our weapons are not carnal. He tells us in Ephesians 6 again that "we do not wrestle against flesh and blood, but principalities, rulers of darkness, spiritual hosts of wickedness
in the heavenly places." Paul teaches about putting on the whole armor of God.
When something happens that stirs our human emotions, God wants us to take those emotions and let Him work through them. HE made us and our emotions. The enemy would like nothing better than for us to give in to every thought which would take our eyes off of our God, stir up and add in all kinds of thoughts of losing our faith, doubting God, drawing into our own selves for comfort.
To all whose emotions are raw this week, to all who are rejoicing, to all who are waiting for their answers, Paul has words for us all too. "PEACE TO THE BRETHREN, AND LOVE WITH FAITH, FROM GOD THE FATHER AND THE LORD JESUS CHRIST. GRACE BE WITH ALL THOSE WHO LOVE OUR LORD JESUS CHRIST IN SINCERITY." Eph 6:23
Praying praying praying for God to be glorified in all that happened this week, all over His world, but I'm a bit stuck on Africa. In my prayers is also the deep hope that our Secret/Daniel Elijah, not be the next Matthew. It could happen.

a little boy named Matthew

died last night in Liberia.





He was about 3. He needed umbilical hernia surgery more than a year ago. In March when I met him, at our own Junior and Diamoh's orphanage, he was rolly poly, he laughed and smiled and even spoke...mostly to say "I'm gonna beat you up!". He had some spina bifida issues, he needed more medical help than was available in Liberia. His adoptive Mom, H, had gone to Liberia in February in hopes of getting a medical visa for him if an adoption was not possible (the suspension on adoptions in Liberia had just started several weeks earlier), but some things didn't come together the way she'd hoped. Matthew was starting to get pressure sores from the weight of the grapefruit sized umbilical herniation on his tummy. Several of us treated those wounds, showed nannies how to keep up the treatments after we'd left, even his soon-to-be-adoptive brother Charles, 13, helped out. We all wanted Matthew to do well, and be well. Somewhere after late March, some thing changed. Matthew got sick, really sick. He lost a lot of weight, he began to fade. A lot of ugly things were being said, some people made accusations regarding Matthew, BUT: he STILL needed surgery, he still needed to be adopted, at the very least he needed to be where he could get really good medical care for his little lumpy, bumpy, twisted body. As I understand it, money was raised to help him, from several sources, somehow he had surgery in Liberia, but not until after he had gotten really sick and lost that weight. I have read accusations and innuendos, no kidding: about whose money was better. It was shameful! I saw photos of Matthew taken after we'd left Liberia and I could barely believe they WERE Matthew! He was thin thin thin, his skin barely covering his bones actually, weak and pasty colored. A lot of "stuff" happened that I don't know details about, I have my own opinions, but who doesn't??
Matthew died this morning or late last night. I could not believe that news.
I do not believe that Liberia had dead babies with special needs in mind when the suspension was imposed to correct irregularities and possible "marketing " allegations of non- orphans being matched with families and adopted.....I don't dispute that this was possible and probable. NO provisions were made for any cases when the suspension began however. A "new law" was ordered to be written and passed to protect the children of Liberia..................THAT was January. Last night was July 22. To date there is no new law any where near passage and Matthew is dead.
The military expression for this kind of tragedy is a rather pragmatic one: "collateral damage" and it means the unintended outcome of designated actions.
The gossip and ugly posts on some of the Liberian adoptive family email groups aka "lists" is shameful. The braggings on the part of some about their organizations being "better" "transparent" "ethical" etc etc, what THEY have done as opposed to what "others" have or have not done, is nauseating. A BABY DIED, unnecessarily. A medical visa was requested, after all the details were worked out, even with the adoptive mom in Liberia, and our government denied it. THAT was not Liberia. THAT was our government. Has the adoptive community banded together to demand an answer for this travesty of justice? Not yet, and I suspect that as long as one agency can blame another and spew "This would NEVER happen on MY watch!" kinds of rhetoric, it will not. There are other life-threatened special needs children in Liberia, needing their adoptive families to be able to complete their adoptions and get those children home BEFORE they too become "collateral damage." I wonder if Matthew's tragic, and again I say, unnecessary, death, will serve as a catalyst in dealing with this suspension of all adoptions, be motivation to write a good law, process the cases waiting already, address the special needs children who don't HAVE time to wait out a suspension and the writing of new laws, ie, do something that is truly FOR the good of the children. I won't post the "after " photo of Matthew. This photo is how I remember a sweet little guy who needed a good break, and didn't get it. He is with Jesus now. That is better for Matthew, in light of what didn't happen in a timely fashion for him on earth. I would just love for his life , which ended much too soon, to become a symbol for the needed adoption provisons for the truly needy children of Liberia, and the poster child for new laws with teeth, and ethical compassion. I am sure that his birth mother is grieiving over the loss of her son, for whom she had such hopes of a better quality of life, as is H, his adoptive mom, who met both Matthew and his birth mom, and also loved him. The lady/ family who was matched with him later on to help with a second attempt at a medical visa, cared for him too. Those of us who had been in Liberia and cared for him at all, we too are grieving. He was "our little boy". I am sad for what happened to Matthew. I will be sadder still, if the events which led to his death do not contribute to a better plan for adoption and child care in Liberia ...............................

updates and comments

Well as Anita just described it , this day turned out to be a "trial run" for them as far as the kidney surgery was concerned. The cadavre kidney was not in good enough shape that Eric's surgeon would agree to use it for Eric. They are home for the night, but really at peace that God has it all scheduled out just right. "NEXT TIME" she told me, they'll really be ready for the event and not just run out the door. I am sure taht would be about my first thought too, but we did agree that fmaily prayer should preceed actually running out any door!
And I have to tell you all, the Pecan Pie cake recipe is long and looks very complicated, but its not . AND I'm so used to it it doesn't look long to me any more.
I hope some of you will give it a try. If that's just too much, one of my other favs is to cook a bag of extra wide egg noodles, in a seaprate pan, heat up 2 or 3 cans of Cream of Chicken soup, DO NOT DILUTE, pour over the noodles. NOT healthy, probably not very nutritious, but fast ,easy comfort food from my childhood, and my kids love it too.
No more real concrete news about Daniel, but the word I have received this week has been guardedly optimistic and I have been talking to our travel agenct about buying tickets to fly!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Kidney transplant prayers

Some of you also read my friend Anita's blog. She and I have been friends for about 8 years, Charlie and I :friends with them for more than 7 years. We are not uber close friends, but good friends, and all the time I've known Anita, we have prayed for her husband Eric who is diabetic and for the past about two years has been on dialysis, and more recently, on the Kidney transplant list. There were several strong possibilities of a donor kidney , but they didn't work out for a variety of reasons. Today Eric was matched with a kidney! I am so very sad for the family whose relative is the donor.............we all know what that means, but if all was well with that kidney this afternoon when they removed it, Eric will be in surgery tonight receiving a very real new lease on his not -even-40 year old life.
I am so thrilled for him, excited for them as a family and before the throne of God for them as their friend and sister in the Lord. I have no idea when I'll hear more update-news, but for now I am excited as can be that Eric may be able to be WELL. Yes, still diabetic, but NOT kidney-transplant- list sick , almost all the time.
Please take a moment from your reading and blog hopping to thank the Lord for this opportunity for Eric?