Secret

I am still just about speechless, goose bump covered, shivery and saturated with praise and overwhelmed with what God has done in our family. We are sending our dossier on Monday to adopt Baby Secret, who I "think " is going to be named Daniel.
After almost two months of prayer and talking , and not talking , analyzing and processing, approaching and backing away, being drawn and pulled back.................I was as still be fore the Lord as I have ever been in my life about anything. I have wanted to speak...played with the Queen Esther- risking -her- life- to- talk to -King - Artexerxes idea............... God said "BE STILL" so I did, and I thought it might kill me, but I knew that Secret was someone God had put on my heart and Charlie's too, and God had to lead and guide and influence the decisions, not either one of us individually. But all week I have been praying that IF Charlie really felt that we should not go forward to adopt Secret, that GOD would nip any possible thoughts, waves of emotion, of "justified" or "self-righteous anger" any molecules ... of bitterness before they could find a place to land or root. The enemy would do that; use something wonderful like an adoption, or differing ideas about an adoption, to tear a couple apart...he really wants trashed marriages most of all so he can make a mockery of God's best institution. I was gearing up for however his decision would go, although being the eternal optimist, I knew how I ws "hoping" it would be.......................HOW CRAZY IS IT, that Charlie's question to me was " So do you still want to be the 74 year old mom to a 25 year old in a wheel chair?" and YES !!!!!!!!!!!!! If that is what God has for us, YES!!!! In my heart, I don't think that he will live that long, but if he does, he will be loved by a big family who has been eagerly praying for this YES decision.
I just emailed his agency to tell them the dossier will go out in DHL on Monday!!
Please keep us in your prayers as this all goes forward..... I know that there are some potentially rough days ahead; even getting his visa approved may be another "human biggie" before the surgical evals and all ever start, then the surgery (ies) but I KNOW that if God brings him home, God will order our steps for those days. Back to that "who told the proud waves 'you can come this far, and NO FARTHER'" verse................we will not be overcome when God has ordained our steps!!!