Tuesday, December 1, 2009

And now its December

but Daniel is no closer to being home than he was in March, April, May, June, July (well July looked close for a few hours!) August, September, October, and now November. December is more than likely not going to happen either. We got word that Daniel's needed documentation which we thought was nearly signed off on, IS NOT. Just : not. Our travel agent warned me last week that flights in and out of Liberia after the 15th of December were impossible, so if I could not get there and back by the 15th, we can scrub December as a travel month. My heart aches for my little son, so far away, so needy, so very needy, and I wonder how my Heavenly Father feels about all of this. SURELY His heart is even more broken at the selfishness, greediness and the abject apathy, of those who have the power and the authority to have completed this precious little baby's adoption months ago. As I wrote in a letter to a Ministry official a while back, "I know that Daniel does not have much value to very many people, he is not special to but a very few, but to those few, HE IS SO IMPORTANT. He is very important to us. His future matters to us, his health needs matter to us." I asked that these people would please use the compassion I knew was in their hearts for their children, and the authority granted them, to please move on this case and bring it to completion. We were told in March that Daniel's case was already approved, pending a family to adopt him. From our agency to American politicians to Liberian officials, I have repeatedly stated our case: DANIEL'S CASE, his dire medical needs, his prognosis.............and today is December 1.
So often I default to music for comfort, most often I go automatically to old hymns. There is much good contemporary music, but there is a richness in old hymns (even when the language is extremely outdated) that feels like the coziest of thick, lovingly hand- crocheted afghans wrapped around my spirit. Last night as I thought and prayed about Daniel, and about the even more remote chance of ever bringing Junior and Diamoh home, God brought to my mind George Beverly Shea ( of Billy Graham Crusade fame, if you don't know who he might be; he just turned 100 this year) I so clearly heard him singing two songs HIS EYE IS ON THE SPARROW and

HE SHALL GIVE HIS ANGELS CHARGE OVER THEE. God is so faithful through His Holy Spirit and through His Word and through His servants.
I was comforted, I knew Daniel was too...Deuteronomy 29:29 practically calls out Daniel by his "first name" SECRET...........
"The SECRET things belong to the Lord our God but those things (my italics) which are revealed belong to us and to our children forever, that we may do all the words of this law."
Daniel has always belonged to the Lord; for a time he was a SECRET, but as God revealed him to us, He put a love for Daniel in our hearts: this tiny oh-so -brain damaged baby........God called us to love him, as ourselves, as we love God: with all our hearts, our minds, our spirits, willing to lay down our lives for him. It has not been our "lives" literally, but we have willingly laid down this year, putting everything else on hold in anticipation of Daniel's homecoming and necessary surgical procedures, and not to fullfill a law, but because GOD Himself put this incredible love into all of our hearts for a baby who may never be able to "love back" as we expect to be loved in return, may or may not ever hug back, kiss back, even reach out to hold our hands or fingers when offered to him. WE do not know that he will ever even see us beyond as shadows. That all is so uncertain, and more uncertain as the time passses and he is not here to have brain surgery.
AND YET, Jesus reminded His disciples in Matthew 10:29-31 that even though sparrows are sold two for a copper coin,"
NOT ONE OF THEM FALLS TO THE GROUND APART FROM YOUR FATHER'S WILL. (But the very hairs of your head are numbered.) Do not fear therefore; you are of more value than many sparrows."

I know that Daniel too is of far more value than the sparrows God keeps careful track of! So of course are Junior and Diamoh, and the too-many-other-waiting children. Psalm 91:11 is a verse I have clung to so many times and to the song mentioned as well. IN FACT, the night that our Caleb was born, my labor came on hard and fast,and our midwife had barely enough time to arrive to do any part of her job. In the midst of telling dear Charlie what we needed to do and have on hand, I KNEW, a week earlier, I had planned a stack of various phonograph records (yes...those!) next to the stereo for Caleb's birth. Huffing and puffing and panting I huffed "Next to the stereo. Records, 3rd album. PUT IT ON NOW!! Second side THIRD SONG PLEASE!!! Baby blankets are on the changing table, bring them in here. " YES in that order. What WAS the third album, second side third song? George Beverly Shea, in his beautiful rich voice singing
That was the song playing as Caleb was born, just a moment or so later! I digress to memories of a 45 minute labor: start to finish. My point? I knew then and I know now that God is faithful. He does send His angels to keep charge over us, and His angels are ministering to our Daniel.

And those angels? That passage finishes up with verse 12:
"...In their hands they shall bear you up."
David says a little while later "For You Lord have made me glad through Your work; I will TRIUMPH in the works of Your hands."
Today did not start out feeling like a day of triumph, but as I prayed and sought God though His Word, HE has made me glad. HE has, and He is causing me to TRIUMPH. With Paul in 2 Corinthians 2:14 I can proclaim, " Now thanks be to God who always leads us to TRIUMPH in Christ and through us difuses the fragrance of His knowledge in every place!"

Lord please keep me in Your hands, Keep me difusing the fragrance of YOU in every place I am !


Mom to 9 Blessings! said...

Linda all I can say to that post is AMEN! Beautiful - every word!

Love you,
Praying by your side!

Autumn Mist said...

Your post today is so moving. I am praying for you.

love2bmom said...

My Corey and I were just looking at Daniel, and he asked why I was crying. I told him that Liberia isn't letting this baby come here for surgery. He said, "WELL PRAY THEN, MOM!!" So we did.

Love you,
Carolee and Corey, 8

Renee said...

Oh I am so sorry to hear this. He is faithful and I am anxiously awaiting the day your sweet boy comes home.