Thursday, August 6, 2009

so much to ponder in my heart......


Malachi and Sopheak left this morning for the airport, for OKC, for Dallas, for LA, then Hong Kong for Sopheak and Denver for Malachi. My prayers are with them both as I know this was not an easy goodbye. They joked in the pouring rain this morning that it was " a sign" that they should stay put here, but of course they had to go. I cried, I cry so easily anyhow, but I cried. They are so sweet together, so RIGHT together ,and so natural, whether they are chattering in English or in Khmer, which they do equally, or playing with each other or the other kids. IT is so weirdly quiet again, and somehow MORE so than when they were in Florida . She has gone back and we will not see her for probably two years. Malachi is planning to go to Cambodia for next summer, and the summer after that, she will return.............that is a LONG TIME. Even my older boys were teary eyed. Leah tries to be so "cool" and not show a lot of emotion, but she too was saddened to the point of hiding her tears. Malachi called a bit ago, they are fine and hanging out in LA till midnight when 'Pat's plane leaves.
We heard nothing from Liberia today about Daniel, and I am hoping that tomorrow will be THE DAY, but just walking one step at a time. I have just about gotten all they paper work I needed to do: finished, I will pre-pay the mid Augut -early September bills so nothing goes ignored, and trust that I am leaving for Liberia VERY SOON!!!
With Hannah's baby due and my son Caleb coming home from Iraq for his two weeks' leave, being in Liberia in September is out. God has known this from the beginning. I chooose to trust HIS TIMING, my own desires aside. Right now my heart just aches for my older children: Hannah who lost all her Medicaide benefits this week when Oklahoma decided that they 'make too much" to qualify for any state supported care, and she is 6 weeks from Charlie being born (HOW DOES THAT WORK??)Jon's unemployment runs out in 2 weeks, Malachi and Sopheak are being separated by school and 6,000 miles for almost another year, Caleb is spearated from his wife Courtney by war and deployment, and for our younger children too:our sweet Junior and Diamoh are separated from us by a suspension on Liberian adoptions with no real end in sight, and Daniel waits, unaware that he IS waiting, for his forever Mommy to fly over to scoop him up and bring him home to a house full of love.
Other adoptive family members were and are in Liberia right now. The photos I saw spoke volumes to me that our children miss us, and were very disappointed that we were not among those who came to visit this month. Several of the people who came last week were with us in March. I know that had to sting. ADD TO THAT, I sent a package to a traveling family, in plenty of time so it would arrive and be taken to Liberia for Junior and Diamoh, and to another sweet young girl, Elsie too. The USPS however took not THREE days to deliver my envelope ,as promised, but 13. Junior and Diamoh watched as other kids opened envelopes from MOMMY AND DADDY far way, and they had nothing. They have no idea that I TRIED, only that THEIR mommy and daddy didn't send anything. I saw it in their faces in the photo of them together, I saw it in their absence in all the group photos of the children, which previously they jumped to be part of. It all made me hurt for them, and miss them terribly.
I worte to Senator Clinton today on her own website, again, suggesting she offer the USA suspension on adoptions in Cambodia as a model for Liberia to use in coordinating their own "pipeline families" stuck in the middle of a suspension totally not of their own doing .
Daniel waits, Junior waits, Dimoh waits, and they are representative of probably over100 referred /matched children and their eager families...........................
As I wait, I am so blessed with all that I have here at home, blessings I am SO eager and bursting to share with Daniel, Junior and Diamoh........like these:
visiting with friends who also have Vietnamese, Cambodian and African children: Anita and Eric and their Taevy , Samren and Bright, soon to add 2 year old Kendi from Ghana too!!


sharing a meal at the Chinese buffet restaurant together:

sharing lots of laughs laughs at the lake with lots of friends

setting up the water rocket for a blast off
Jumping on the trampoline to do flips:
sweet sleep at the end of the day.........
taking a group photo, but always having room for more sibs!!!
and yes, saying farewell for now...............
and SO eager to go say HELLO, LET'S GO HOME!!!!!
and so eager to give a hug and a whispered "I love you sweet baby!!!'

3 comments:

Blessed Mom of 8 said...

Oh Linda - you are so precious and daily on my heart and mind!

I know this waiting is so very hard!

I know this time with Sopheak away will seem long and at times endless - but we serve a MIGHTY AWESOME GOD!

He has all of this in His LOVING hands!

Praying over you right now! Tears of understanding stream down my face!

I love you!
Jill

Jason and Erin said...

Can Hannah and the baby get Soonercare?

whenpigsfly said...

Jason, she and Jon together "make too much". She had Sooner care and was dropped this week. She can't quit her job,that would really make a mess, but would put her back on Sooner Care and get them food stamps, but then there'd be no bill money.Child support is not counted off of income when calculating for benefits, and her job does not have part time employees; decreasing her hours is not an option. Even if Jon got a job tomorrow, I don't think his insurance if he would have any, would kick in at 35 weeks of pregnancy.... More material to lay before God's feet and choose to TRUST...........