Monday, April 6, 2009

an unusual Sunday occurance

When my phone rang yesterday afternoon, I was expecting one of my out of state children maybe, but not the neurologist I had left a message with last Monday and whose nurse I followed up with on Thrsday, but it WAS!!! NOT an expert on hydrocephaly by any means, I am not sure I asked enough "intelligent" questions, asked enough "dumb questions" or got as many answers as I had hoped for, if I hoped there would be any answers at all sight unseen.
But he called, he was very friendly, very open, very frank, just a slight bit negative (as in "your plate is already full. WHY would you want to DO this?" ) and his overall asseessment that this was a heart vs. head decision...yes perhaps, in the purely secular it is. God is not secular, God is God. IF HE shows us that we are not the family for Secret, I do not believe it will be because practicality "won out" over compassion.
I just received the most wonderful, made -me- sit- and- bawl- my- eyes -out email, from another adoptive mom who has a child with a history similar to Secret's and a family story not totally different than ours,and it encouraged my heart SO GREATLY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Did it give me an answer? Change Charlie's current mindset? Change my pursuit of a unified mindset? None that I am aware of, but it gave me the absolute re- re- re- reassurance that nothing is too big for GOD, or for us when we have laid everything we think we are, down before His feet. As I continue to read Francis Chan's CRAZY LOVE, I am immersed in this , I am reminded again and again of God's love and how BIG that is, how He longs to do huge things through us as we let Him love us and as we love Him back...............................
Not wanting "to be wise in my own eyes", I am drawn back to Proverbs 3 :5-8 over and over agian, and especially to that phrase, I am pulled to Phil. 4:13 "I can do ALL THINGS through Christ Who strengthens me". I know this means in saying Yes to one, two, or three, or to NO new adopted children, in whatever number they come or do not come home. I can continue to pray for my precious children, and I will, but OH LORD JESUS if You want any and all of them HOME at Calico Acres Farm, we need You to bring us together in Your peaceful perfect unity.
"For Your kingdom
For our children
For the sake of ev'ry nation
We will choose to be a blessing for life"

2 comments:

love2bmom said...

Amen.

C

Blessed Mom of 8 said...

Beautiful!

Praying with you that God move mountains and bring home all the children that He wants at Calico Farms!

I love you!
Jill