Who knew a haircut and a bath could be so exhausting?

OH my!! Maybe it was going bowling before the haircut and bath, I'm not sure. Daniel has his habits and routines to be sure. He has pretty much figured out church on Sunday and doesn't fall asleep quite so quickly after church as he used to  but most other situations totally drain him! I watch my sweet baby , with <5 of his brain  in his skull, trying to figure out where he is and what is going on around him, and now that we  are bowling every day, bowling is not quite so tiring for Daniel  either, but today...........oh my sweet baby needed a haircut and a bath VERY BADLY! He screamed all the way through the haircut...SCREAMED, slobbered, buggered, cried, fluids were everywhere all   because I gave  took about an inch of over grown thick hair off his head for the rest of summer. You would think I  was cutting off his skin the way he protested! I cuddled Daniel for a long  time after the haircut and he fell deeply asleep. I LOVE CUDDLING DANIEL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! His wonderful shower chair which  is his new and  usual place to hang out in the house  needed a bath almost as badly as Daniel did ,so sleepy baby and I went to the bathtub. Not quite as bad in his thinking as the haircut,  I am guessing,  he protested for a  short while. MY thinking is that a warm bath  feels good to anyone and everyone.......  eventually. Showered and all the dead skin removed from his tight little fists, and from under his toes and arm pits, my sweet little man smelled great and  and looked super! Upstairs to his room, lotioned and dressed, Daniel was ready for his bed! WHEW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
How amazing it is to me that Daniel has been home with us for one year and one week!!!! He has done so well with his surgeries, with feeding through a tube , with clothes and blankets , and with his much busier life in Oklahoma over that in an orphanage in Liberia!
In this year I have come to know that  sometimes he is ticklish under his arms  and on his shoulder blades. SOMETIMES! Not always. He HATES having his hands touched unless I am slapping them . Sounds violent but I don't mean "hard" ,  but stroking his hands invokes a very negative, frightened , irritated default response  while a slapping motion brings out an almost immediate smile and then laughter!!! He hates having his hands stretched or his arms touched to get his clothes changed or to powder under his sweaty armpits but LOVES when I tap on his elbows, or "type "  on his forehead.  Our doctors tell us that Daniel does not remember anything  and is not aware of individual people or events. TELL THAT  to anyone who watches me set up his feeding tube for a meal! SOME DAYS, as  soon as I pull up his shirt so I can hook up the tube to his Mic button on his tummy , Daniel responds with a smile  and or a roar of pleasure. While his meals are flowing into his tummy from the tube, he  may wiggle and smile and make as many pleasure-sounds as a baby could make. Daniel may never say a "word" but I hear his thoughts . I understand his "talk". I understand his body language. A year  ago I  was learning how to read my precious baby. Now I know that I KNOW him. Daniel would love to be held , in my LEFT arm  all day long. I am left handed and that arm is stronger. ALL my other  babies liked my left arm best too. It didn't take a brain  for Daniel to  know what felt best.Daniel is no different from all his other older sibs in that respect. . When I hold him against me, on his tummy , he snuggles. That too  apparently requires no brain for a baby to default to . When I stroke his legs he smiles, he roars, he "talks"  and he laughs. Sometimes his ribs are ticklish too and the laughs are precious to hear. SOMETIMES all those touches are not pleasant  or welcome and Daniel screams. I never know how he will respond until I start an interaction. . Strangely, a slapping of his cheeks or tapping of his hands or forehead almost IMMEDIATELY calms him back down. This tells me that he is not in pain but  more of a protest reaction. To an outsider it may look very strange to tap or thump like I do,  but Daniel is NOT wired like a typical baby. I am careful in how I respond to his "likes" and WHERE  I respond to them as well. A lot of people seeing Daniel, back off but can also be very quick to be critical.  I have to inject here that VERY few people even in our church  seem to have warmed to Daniel. VERY FEW....as in: I can count on the fingers of 1/2 half a hand  who have asked to hold  him, or who HAVE. My baby, in his blind,  totally dependent state, makes people uncomfortable, I guess. He puts people off. They don't "know how " to relate to him... I suspect because babies are "supposed to" give something back when held or talked to and Daniel  just can not always do that ; may be it is something else. HE is BEAUTIFUL, he is sweet, he is a baby whom God blessed this world to know. Kind of like Jesus Himself,
" He came unto His own but His own received Him not" It has not hurt me as much  as disappointed me  to watch people's responses to my son. Our church, our friends, PRAYED THIS BABY HOME, but they don't love on him like they do "normal "  babies.The few people who acknowledge him at all  occasionally stoke his leg (maybe) and say  "awwwwwwwwwwww, sweet Daniel" and keep walking.   I can not express how it touched my heart two weeks ago when a new family came to our church , the mom was someone I'd met at baseball several years ago; she too is an adoptive mom, and her IMMEDIATE response to seeing me holding Daniel was to ask "Can I hold him?"  She took him from me and just loved on him. He cooed , he smiled, he was as beautiful as I see him all the time. I could not help but think about how much the "distant" people are missing by not spending a bit of time loving on Daniel. I am so thankful for the year we have had WITH Daniel, for the year + that we spent praying FOR him, and for the time  we have ahead...however much tiem that might be.
Right now Daniel is sound asleep after his hair cut and his bath. I can'timagine life without him. He is soemtimes "difficult"  and "different" but he is our beautiful, PRECIOUS BABY and WE get to be his family!!!!!!!!!!

The clippers, the bath chair  and the cleaned up, trimmed up , exhausted baby Daniel . No photos of the splashed up sweaty Mamma!!!!

I'm BACK!

Has it really been over two months since  I posted anything?  OH MY!!! Since April, most of the goats have kidded, we've sold afew , a doe died, all the mamma goats are seriously in milk and the babies are weaned to grain. Sugar had her foal on Easter night. He's a beautiful little colt and he loves Naomi best of all! All the barn cats had kittens, 15 in all, but slowly  and surely, the number of kitties here at Calico Acres Farm has decreased. our Calico Mamma, Lilac has 5 kitties who are going to an aviary to mouse there, one whole litter and the mamma went to North Dakota  with our friend and former neighbor Lori who moved there, along with several of our "extra "  goats. We've added 20 chicks to the chicken coop population and are culling out the non-layers. We have 24 more chicks arriving on July 1...should be lots of eggs by fall to eat and to sell!! The gardens are so exciting: burgeoning with cucmbers, beans, several varieties of tomatoes, lots of peppers, onions, garlic, okra, squash and zuchini, potatoes, corn, more corn, canteloups and water melons! We've added a dozen new fruit and nut trees to the orchards and tansplanted some pecan trees from other parts of the pastures into the orchard. The grapes look great too. It is amazing how much better things grow when the garden is tilled over the winter and  really well-prepped for spring planting! I really worked the front flower beds and rose gardens as well, and made an herb garden space out front where I usually plant pansies or begonias. The cilantro, basil, oregano, and rosemary have a smell that is so close to heavenly,I can just sit and sniff....... and sniff and sniff!!!!!!!!!!! Blended with the surrounding roses, oh yes!! It's like a perfumery!
We purposed to seriously garden this year to really provide food for our family and to have plenty to share  with others. So far , that goal is nearing the first seps of accomplishment!
 Our biggest milestone is that Daniel  has been home  HOME  HOME  with us for a whole year as of Monday!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I still shake my heard at that  because it does not seem possible.
He is not much bigger than a year ago, still easily a size 18 month size and with his 4" foot  he is still in newborn sized 3 shoes and size 3 diapers. We have all come to know him so well, know his many dislikes and his few likes, the things that sometimes make him smile, the things we know make him scream immediately, the things he puts up with. His favorite things are being held by his Mamma, music and being thumped. Soft touches seem to scare Daniel or irritate him  badly.  That produces lots of screaming! A stronger touch will bring about a smile and often a laugh and some Daniel talk too.......most of the time. Some  days  Daniel's affect is "flat" and unresponsive; some days he is so animated and so full of laughs and smiles, Every day is a new day of WHAT WILL DANIEL LIKE TODAY??????? He is truly our Forever 6 week old and I am thankful for this precious  baby and how he fits into our family! I will never chase him around or shoo him out of a cupboard, but I WILL be able to cuddle him any time at all for as long as he is ours.  How much more blessed could a mamma be ? 
Jael graduated from high school  and Esther'sbaby  ................ a girl that she and Casey have named Riley Kay , is doing so well! Esther started her pregnancy a bit heavier than would be optimally healthy but she has taken  such good care of herself and Riley that at 27 weeks along ,  (due on Grandpappa  Charlie's birthday) she has only gained 6 pounds! Her NP is so impressed as is her midwife mamma! Riley is not our only Grand Baby-in-the-making however. Daughter Kari is due in late December and Caleb and wife Tiffany just found out they are expecting their first baby  together about on my birthday . Sweet Grandbaby Charlie is talking and we enjoy him so much!!! I am his  "Gi-Gi" and he loves to come to Gi-Gi's house! There are  a couple of our grown children who are not living their lives as unto the Lord as they know they should, but at this point God's grace and mercy are covering them more than they know as this mamma  continues to pray over them.
i stand on Isaiah 54:13 " ALL your children shall be taught of the Lord and great shall be the peace of your children"..unwavering I stand firm for each of our children and trust God to draw them to eactly where HE wants them  to be. It is painful to my mamma heart, but God is the strength of my heart!
Our central heating and cooling unit  ( a very old and underefficient  heat pump)  died last summer before the heat had subsided. It was our plan to use our tax refund to replace it, no debt, no credit, just get a unit up and running and be done with it. THAT  was before the IRS and some provision in Obama care made the way for our  adotpion tax credit  to be a  "Refund" for the first  and only time. The catch?  MUST PAPER FILE not e-file...more time... the second catch??? Almost all the adoptive famileis  who filed the required Form 8839 haver been noified ( and slowly I might add) that their file is being investigated and THAT means tax refunds , which are bigger than any of of us expected along the way, are being held up for months! We personally are waiting to see if we get the actual Letter from IRS requestign documentation, or if we'll see our money deposited. Right now we just  don't know how that will go  but God does and I am praying that He will orchestrate the arrival of the check with the bill for the AC/Heating unit. It all reminds me of my favorite Christian radio song right now... "REACH" by Peter Furler. "You hold the weight of  the world  yet I don't slip through Your hands!!" THAT is where I am today: knowing that WE are not going to slip through our Heavenly Father's hands!!!  

Why did I used to have time to blog?

The past three months have been no more event -filled than any other months...that I can recognize anyhow. My house is not  remarkably cleaner, I was not gardening, I have not crocheted an afghan or even a whole scarf.  So why have I had so little time to find my computer, my blog , and put  into print  even a few of  the  myriad activities or musings which bless my life?  Well OK,  maybe I  AM  busier..........I am trying to get started  now and the beep of my text message and its accompanying light tell me that Jael is finished with her make-up first semester English class and is ready to be picked up and taken to work. About the time I return from that I will take Blake to Baseball for Hannah who is working late at her bank job. No, I didn't have time to go get G-baby Charlie from day care for her, but I did take Sopheak to work after two dentist  appointments this morning. I did hoe some cabbage and cauliflower rows, and transplant tomatoes, peppers and morning glory plants, we did school, I did get Charlie the Dad and the boys off to a friends' ranch to help clear out some equipment and scruff for her. (Her husband just deployed; last time he and Charlie the Dad were deployed together). I have cooked scratch meals, good ones every day for the last week +, including for a church pot luck dinner. I did all those things before and still found time to blog. Wonder how I did it?? I'll think about it while I am driving  I guess!!

A "Little" Gardening Miracle of Healing

I took the entire day yesterday, aside from Daniel-care,  to garden. I sun-screened pretty successfully, and stayed busy from 11-5. I love being in the garden, I love the soil no matter how sweaty and "funky" I may get. It is life -affirming for me, it is therapeutic,  it is so satisfying, it is pure hard sweaty-working pleasure!!! There was a lot of border root-work to do before I could put my cucumbers in: my tiller just can't get that close to the fence so the little trowel and I spent about 1 1/2 hours prepping the cuke portions of the garden. Those borders were then as nicely composted and turned over as the tilled portions. !!! Two varieties of cukes went in, and along with them garlic, onions, cauliflower, broccoli and a bit more early cabbage and some late harvest cabbage. Marigolds will border the entire garden to help ward off  bugs.   The strawberry patch is in and it too is looking very promising. THIS garden is going to produce and provide for now, for later, for sharing with others: it is a SERIOUS garden!! When the "cold weather" early veggies are done, the peppers, tomatoes,  egg plant, beans, zucchini,  and squash will go in. Most of these are  currently (and  happily?)  sprouting in the indoor green houses and waiting their turns. Our other garden is the corn field which I've  bordered with  potatoes and carrots. The corn field was so nice and soft, full of great horse and goat compost, lots of great soil and sand so that prepping and planting the corn rows was an easy task.  (Thanks to Gideon who tilled for me, twice!) I was staying well hydrated,  still well sun-screened, took some Aleve for the stiffness in my hip and back, and was guarding my knees against a possible lock up even though I have not locked up either knee for over a year ( out in the goat nursery delivering that Topsy Turvy and the other 2/3 of those triplets) and was feeling really GREAT!!! Suddenly, as I started to move forward on my knees to advance my corn rows, I felt that oh-so-unwelcome and oh-so-familiar sensation of my left knee locking up! I tried to reverse my motion because sometimes that quickly unlocks the knee, but not today. I gingerly turned over so I was sitting instead on kneeling in the corn patch and I started to pray. I thanked God for the day, for the love of gardening that He has placed in my spirit, for the ability to produce food from our land, and for the strength He has given my body in spite of some of the "creaks" . I asked God to  please release my knee so that I could continue using the perfect conditions of the day to complete the gardening because ALL OF IT was unto Him.
 A bit of history:
God has released my knee numerous times  over  the 7 years it has had this issue, in answer to prayer, but some times He has let me stay locked for as long as 12 days, relying totally on  Him and moving along  on crutches. The last time I was locked for 12 days was right before Charlie came home from Iraq his last time. I locked up, and that knee did NOT release under any conditions. I did farm work on  my crutches that whole time. I was still doing a lot of the milking back then, which  did not do my opposite hip any favors but the work got done. My chiropractor was able to unlock it  once but it took him an hour of work!!!!! Some times God will give me some guidance as to what I need to do or how I need to move to cause the knee to unlock and it is not always the same method. THIS TIME, God moved in my mind that I needed to stretch out my leg as far as possible (  something I try to avoid because it  is PAINFUL!!) and to massage above my knee  working downward . I have never done this before or even tried that technique. I massaged as I continued to talk to my Lord. In about 20 seconds, I heard the oh-so-familiar and oh-so-WELCOME sound of a little "pop" and my knee released! As soon as it unlocks when it's just been a short lock-up, the pain is gone and I am totally free to move as I choose!!!! After a pretty lengthy praise time , I decided to finish my corn rows sitting rather than kneeling. This was a pretty good plan as Gideon assessed when he came to bring me a squirt bottle of cold water. He thought I'd chosen that position because it allowed me to use my body as a "Row spacer". I WAS, and I DID, but not until the locking and healing episode! Actually the sitting method was faster than the kneeling method because I could very easily furrow, plant and a cover two rows at once.


This garden will be particularly  special to me, this year especially the corn field. While I don't think that anyone "needs" a special place to pray, I suspect that at least this year, my corn field will be my frequent prayer place !!

Daniel, a birthday with a neuro-surgeon visit

Our sweet baby boy is officially by Birth Certificate -officially,  three years old!
His day yesterday started with a vist to his neuro-surgeon for a follow-up on the shunt placement  done  last July. Our visits with this doctor last year were far from "warm-fuzzy"  encouraging visits, but I saw that God was using Daniel to teach this very educated, experienced man a few things that no school or other educated person could  ever teach him. I saw this again yesterday when  doctor entered our exam room and asked how Daniel was doing. My cheerful and enthusiastic "He is doing VERY WELL!!"   was met with a much more sober and not enthusiastic " Why would you say THAT?"  I got to testify about God's hand on Daniel again by explaining the changes we have seen in Daniel's behavior and reactions to things and people around him,  how we  are so pleased that despite what his MRI indicates, Daniel seems able to acomplish far more than "expected".  I spoke about tickling, music, how he loves to sing praise music,  tracking my voice with his eyes, even though they cant' see, everything that is a part of Daniel's DEFINITE personality, including the dis-likes and ongoing limitations. He looked at the chart  and saw that the nurse had measured Daniels' head  circumference and commented that his head had not grown and said "Well at least he is comfortable.  You can come back and see me in a year."  He asked what the neurologist had said about Daniel and I replied that she told me she was amazed that he was breathing, much less that he was alive.  NO response to that but to comment that  the incisions were healed well and the risk of infection from the shunt sites were very minimal at this point and that having a family to care for him probably had done more than a shunt.. The questions I asked him he told me that I would be better suited to ask the Neurologist herself.
Daniel for his part, talked to me throughout the exam, smiled and roared his little roars and stayed pretty relaxed. He had to have his photo taken  for his file and we even managed to catch the tail-end of a smile for the photo. The nursing staff are very sweet to Daniel, VERY SWEET.
Since it's our family tradition to celebrate birthdays at the Tex-Mex restaurant where Esther used to work, last night for Daniel's birthday was no exception. The staff were more than happy to celebrate Daniel with us!
I fogot my camera, Charlie took a few photos with my camera phone and they are all we have tangibly  to remember the night by, but we will all remember the joy at being able to celebrate that Daniel IS  three years old and VERY MUCH ALIVE AND WELL!!!! And for the record, he did NOT like the whipped cream from his fried ice cream!

Inthe Birthday Sombrero for a photo-op!

Daniel's first birthday party

was with our church family after service yesterday morning.  Our precious baby is turning three but this will be the  FIRST time his life will be  celebrated by acknowleding how  special the day of his birth really was! Daniel  was having a really worse -than -bad -day of incredible irritability due to his intestinal system being on strike or unaware that  it had been invited to participate in his week, but we were celebrating DANIEL's  L I F E   nonetheless!
 I knew that having invited everyone  to a  cake and ice cream party , the mention of gifts would come up. Daniel does not need anything, really so  I suggested that if anyone REALLY wanted to do something for Daniel that I would love it if they would give him a gift of a donation to an orphanage related in some way to his life. THANK YOU to those who did just that!!!  I am more than happy to Paypal funds in Daniel's name for you!





 We are so thankful for Daniel! Holding him while he screams and cries in discomfort and irritability over every touch and movement , being unable to comfort him except by thumping on him seems so inadequate to this mamma's heart but pound and thump I did. The second I'd slow down or stop to switch hands or rest my hands would be the start of the next round of screaming. I'd medicated and hydrated, prayed and started all over again and again  for three days. Late last  night his body gave him a little bit of relief and this morning I was informed that Daniel MUST have " REALLY cleared out" because the space by the woodstove was too  smelly for anyone else to sit near Daniel,  AND he was stretched out and SMILING!

If an empty intestinal tract makes my baby happy,  and causes him to hurt no longer, that's about the best birthday gift I can give !! He had not "talked to me"  in 3 days or so, but after a thorough clean up, he was talking and smiling , responding to some tickles and  he even allowed me to help him do some stretching exercises!! We will celebrate again tomorrow as a family. I have been asked why we'd "bother" to make a big deal out of Daniel's birthday, yes  we have.   We celebrate because Daniel is our baby. We celebrate because God blessed us with him and chose us to love a very unique baby boy who may never have a clue that we celebrate his life. I know  that  seemingly his understanding of a diaper change, a bath, the brushing of his teeth  the changing of his clothes and the putting on of socks or shoes is that they are pain producers, interruptions to being still and and unstretched but  not elements of being loved and cared for. How often do we cry and complain and "pitch a fit"  at the circumstances we find ourselves in? Those of us who profess to be  born-again followers of Jesus:  how often do we respond to God "cleaning us up"  like  Daniel responds to me? Yet God loves us , loves us so so much, loves all of us, loves me,  regardless of how I/we respond to His touch. How wonderful that God never loses his temper, doesn't get irritable "back" , doesn't shake His head needing to "take a break" from our behavior. He loves, and loves and loves some more. That's how I  want to be able to love Daniel and all the people in my life: every day! Daniel's obvious limitations really help me remember the not-so-obvious limitations of the rest of us ,and remind me of God's unfailing love!!

"Teach us to number our days that we may gain a heart of wisdom"

 Rewritten and  re-tooled:
I love this verse from Psalm 90. It's verse 12.  I know that I waste a lot of time.It's easy to do. We all have things that we know deep in our hearts are a waste of time. Some of those things, in and of themselves are not "bad" things whatsoever, but in light of Eternity, what I see is that RECOGNIZING what I/we waste time on and getting it under submission to a real schedule of productivity aims us toward the " gain a heart of wisdom" goal. I don't see where the "Proverbs 31 woman" is forbidden to have a second cup of coffee, or linger a bit longer over the wonderful myriad, plethora, (OK I just happen to love those two words and enjoy being able to seize opportunity to use them!) or abundance of recipes in her new cookbook, or blog-hop, blog write, watch tv game/talk/news shows,  but I suspect that "She" ie, US, are always learning to be ever more consistent in time management; let's call it what it is : good stewardship of our time and self-control. Numbering our days means numbering our hours and minutes. SO often I say " I just do not have time for that" but what I mean is and the truth of the matter is, I used up the time I had doing something else: be it a necessary thing or a good choice/bad choice thing. Like it or not, to choose doing one thing is usually choosing NOT to do something else. My prayer is that I will make the best choices while not getting angry, impatient, or bitter about the necessary choices. Yesterday was an easy stewardship of time day. Everything fell into place with children, school, chores, and Bible time. There are also days when the normal routine activities take up more time and energy, than "normal" and the extra time I'd hoped for is a vapor in the wind...like today. Daniel  had a very hard start to his day and was super difficult this morning. His getting-up-and-fed routine took a very long time. as he drew up extra tightly and was extremely irritable to every touch and motion.Every thing I did for him caused screaming and more drawn-up tightness, and  lots of pauses to help him re-group so I could continue with his routine. I numbered my days against how  the uncertainty of just how many days I will  have to love on Daniel and care for him. Love on my cranky baby or  wish I could go write? NO BRAINER. My baby is now and writing anything, doing anything  else,  can wait a while. I, me, myself, wanted to write NOW, but now it is time to go across town and pick up Sopheak for work. Numbering my days..................I love being able to help Malachi and Sopheak. One day she will have her driver's licence and I will have an extra 45 minutes back in "my day". Numbering my days for me also means keeping a "heart of wisdom" attitude even if the time can't be spent the way I planned or hoped it would go. Lord please help me to be mindful of the increase when it returns and not let myself fritter it away !! Psalm 90:16-17 wrap up that chapter with these words:
"Let Your work appear to Your servants and Your glory to their children, And let the beauty of the Lord our God be upon us, And establish the work of our hands for us, Yes, establish the work of our hands!"

Day dreaming about my other two children.........................

Day dreaming, praying for, longing for.............you get the picture!

A face we can't wait to see face to face with our own faces! Such a fun-loving and handsome young man!

I love that Diamoh will smile now that she has all her permanent teeth in.She is so beautiful and it made me sad when she'd hide her face from any thing  that looked like a camera for such  a long time!

So many Smiths, so much activity!

    ..... or at least a flurry of activities! Our weather has been glorious this week, sunny, warm and not even windy so my priority for the week was to get the "cold weather "veggies planted and to get the garden beds ready for planting. Yesterday while playing with Grandbaby Charlie, I got the cabbage, broccoli and cauliflower planted. I would have gotten farther but a phone call from oldest son Joshua took top spot, even on a sunny day. We had a one hour + conversation as I sat in my garden chopping manure into the soil. Our Yellow star flag is going back up in the window, again. Joshua heads out for Afghanistan in three short weeks for the rest of the year. God has kept him safe through 5 years of tours of duty, has sustained my daughter-in-law Diana and grandchildren Emily and Ethan while Joshua has had to be gone and I am beyond words of praise to our Heavenly Father for that!! My uniformed military guys have done their tours and been able to come home for a state side tour. Civilian contractors who do vital jobs for the military do not have that luxury and Joshua has been over seas more than any of our uniformed service guys combined. Please keep them in your prayers when you think of the ongoing War on Terror . The "press" may be tired of writing about the war, but it MATTERS and we have a lot of soldiers and civilians serving in that War. THANKS!!
Our strawberry patch got turned today so that I may plant tomorrow but it sure didn't happen today!!
The milestone of this day was that Sopheak got her learner's permit Driver's Licence!!!!! Malachi is in school all day at OSU so I got to take her for her test and photo and celebrate this occasion with her. WHAT FUN!!!!!A trip to Sonic for late breakfast was the perfect end to that part of our day
.Jael s is an officer in the high school DECA national marketing organization which had its state competition Monday and Tuesday. While she didn't place in the top 3 slots in competitions she did place 4th and earned a slot for the national Convention  and  Competition at Disney World in May! She is so excited about this honor and opportunity which will help her wind down her Senior year !! I am super proud of her!! Her category of competition had a lot of other contestants, more than the other categories she could have chosen so she knew she would have to work extra hard to do well. The migraine meds she is taking have really made life tough for her and she does everything she does around and through headaches and nausea. The black outs seem to have disappeared as quickly as they appeared but the Migraine meds have side effects that may or may not be worse than what they are intended to prevent. Jael continues to keep plugging and excelling !!!
     Charlie may do the final assembling and filing of our family taxes ever year but the "leg work" is up to me. I've been gathering receipts and tallying all of our pertinent categories so that he can plug those numbers in and file our return. HOWEVER... he is gone a lot and Esther and Casey, and Malachi and Sopheak are not so confident in their tax-filing abilities so I have been the TAX GIRL this week for them. Happily, I was able to guide them through the process and get them both good returns as a result.
     Tennis season started last week for Isaac, Noah and Isaiah as did the Junior High traveling basketball league season for Noah . Baseball starts soon for Rachel as drum lessons continue for Leah. My garden is SUCH a blessed side step from all the taking and picking up. It's so fun to watch our sons and daughters in their individual and collective activities and so fun to do our "at home " activities together as well.
      Also on the Grown Smith Kids front, Caleb leaves for Drill Sergeant school this month until late June, Kari will know next Monday if she is pregnant with Baby 4 ( and Baby 5!!) and Gideon is planning to go to Russia to work with Alex Krutov and the staff at The Harbor in St. Petersburg from September to December. THE HARBOR is an incredible organization which while NOT an orphanage, takes in orphans in Russia to teach them a trade, teach literacy, teach the Gospel and help as many at-risk young orphaned youth in Russia to NOT end up as prostitutes, drug addicts and suicide victims through presenting HOPE and a FUTURE to the students who live at The Harbor. Gideon will be teaching carpentry to the young men/boys so that this may be a trade they can be employed with after they graduate from The Harbor. This is a HUGE thing for Gideon who is preparing spiritually, mentally, emotionally and financially for this 4 month mission trip. Gideon was very very touched by the Holy Spirit when Alex came to visit us about a year or so ago, and God has not let Gideon alone about the needs at The Harbor and what he, Gideon might have to offer . He will take university classes through the summer so that he can take the fall semester off for his Russia work and then finish his senior year at OSU when he returns from Russia. It promises to be a challenging and exciting time !!! It is a mission trip requiring MUCH fervent prayer!!!!!!!!
      Daniel is TICKLISH!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Sometimes! I discovered when massaging and doing his stretching exercises this week that his ribs are (for now, sometimes) ticklish . When the sensation of being tickled feels good Daniel laughs and laughs with the most melodious sound I think I have EVER heard anywhere, seriously!!! It doesn't' t last very long and he does not always respond favorably to being tickled BUT WHEN HE DOES, IT IS AMAZING!!!!!!!!!!!!! There have been no hands nearby to pick up a camera and make a photo -op out of Daniel's delightful responses but I have to tell you that my heart soars with a Mamma-delight over his laughter that could not be photographed anyhow. He is an amazing baby! This week I have become aware of his responses to setting up his feeding tube for a meal too. He has shown a definite awareness and approval when I have lifted his shirt to expose the feeding tube and hook him up for a feeding. This is a new response and it too, delights me and gives me much to ponder in my heart and to call other family members to come and observe.He rarely ever expresses an awareness of hunger or that it's time for a feeding, but the approval and pleasure of getting set up for a feeding and the feeling warm liquid food -stuff flowing into his tummy are undeniably obvious!!!
Our scripture study today was in Numbers today and in Psalm 90.   I  so love and appreciate the words of verses 12     "and  So teach us to number our days That we may gain a heart of wisdom. "
  ...17 "And let the beauty of the LORD our God be upon us, And establish the work of our hands for us; Yes, establish the work of our hands".
I don't  want any of what I've lived today or what I've shard about my life today to matter... if it is NOT established by the Lord and what HE has put into my/our hands to do and be about the business of tending to. I want for our family that each of us count our days, that we pursue wisdom  as we grow in our faith and relationships with our Heavenly Father. This passage also instructs us to be Holy as God is Holy... a teaching we are studying in 1 Peter  as well on Sunday nights in our small group fellowship. Impossible?  As humans yes it is. As new creatures in Christ who are being  conformed to God's image and renewed by  the tranforming of our minds, YES  I believe  we can be. I am going to be dedicated to  that pursuit of Holiness and to teaching to my children  a life -long hunger for that Holiness .
If  what I  am here on Earth for is not established for my hands  by my Heavenly Father, it won't matter what I try to do or what  I feel I've acomplished. It is the desire of my heart  to be everything in every moment  that my Father wants me to be from gardening to ticklling   and everything in between!!

Newest photos of Junior and Diamoh

 Oh how I love new photos!!!!

Junior, age 11 1/2 with some gifts from home

Diamoh, 8 1/2...not quite my "little girl" any more

Praying daily, waiting, praying ,trusting God for our children as He sustains them in Liberia and as we all wait for THE  Day  that they are finally allowed to come home!!
Thanks so much to  our friend Eric for taking the time to take gifts to our children and their care taker, and to get photos for us as well!!
Just as I watched our Rachel grow up in photos from when we met her so long ago when she was barely three until we brought her home at age 6, we are watching Diamoh...baby teeth, loose teeth, no teeth, shy smiles and oh-so-serious  faces, smiles with teeth once again and the confident smiles and expressions  that have nothing to prove any longer. Junior's photos have less of a growing up story to tell although I do have photos of stages of his life where he added some permanent teeth in less obvious spaces than one would see watching the changes in a younger child's development. Both have changed so much and yet  so little since we first saw their faces so long ago in photos, and in person twice now. They are such beautiful strong children and how I ache that this "tween" stage of life when they need a mommy/mom daddy/dad to nurture and nurture them is passing by! Dear P. does such a great job with the children although she does tell me from time to time of "issues"  and we discuss how she handles them and that my message to our children is "OBEY P! She is telling you to do exactly what Daddy and I would tell you! She is teaching you just as we would be teaching you  here at home with your brothers and sisters." The ongoing relationship we have  is far from ideal, but until God opens the doors for us all, it is the relationship that we work to develop. Please pray for our children with us as we wait?

Fearfully and Wonderfully Made

Psalm 139 :
13 For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother’s womb. 14 I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well. 15 My frame was not hidden from you when I was made in the secret place, when I was woven together in the depths of the earth. 16 Your eyes saw my unformed body; all the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to be. 17 How precious to me are your thoughts, God! How vast is the sum of them! 18 Were I to count them, they would outnumber the grains of sand— when I awake, I am still with you.
I took Daniel to the Neurologist yesterday, at long last. It took a very long time to get the appointment, her office over booked and we were bumped and canceled repeatedly and had it not been for Jael's more imminent need of a neurologist, and that I brought Daniel to her appointment to get him up under her nose, we might still be waiting. All in all the appointment I felt was more for the Neurologist's benefit far more than Daniel's. She had not looked at his films before we came, so really had no idea what we were there for or why. She took al ot of notes, asked me a lot of questions  but mostly, she was amazed at Daniel: amazied that he was breathing, alive, responsive to anything, did I mention alive and breathing ? Our sweet baby has less than 5 % of his brain . The Doctor said she had never seen such a severe case of hydranencephaly anywhere, living or not,  and certainly not in a child who was about 3 years old, had had no medical care for 2 of those years.She asked so many questions about our family, and repeatedly "You KNEW this baby had this condition and you still went to Africa to bring him home? What a blessed baby he is!!" It was an incredible opportunity to share God's love and His hand of direction upon our lives, and Daniel's. SINCE SHE ASKED "why would you do this?"  I got to tell her our whole incredible story and how we just knew ( OK  I  "knew "first"  out loud...it took Charlie some real "Jacob and the angel-type" wrestling with God before he too was ready to say out loud what he knew God had been doing in his heart. ) that Daniel was supposed to be our baby and that even in the face of a suspension on adoptions in Liberia, with our other two children still waiting, GOD paved the way for us to get Daniel home. I got to share a bit about God calling us to grow our family through international adoption and how He leads our family.
She didn't tell ME anything I didn't already know. I was able to tell her how Daniel's hydranencephaly affects HIM personally and about that  she took al ot of notes too. She re-assessed that he is totally blind, we knew that  but the MRI shows in photos I did not get to potograph, that while he has basic optic nerves, there is no wehre for them to "plug into" so to speak. That part of his brain is missing. The portions which govern growth and thermo-regulating are also missing.............hence my "3 year old" is 21 pounds and still 32 inches long ( and would not even weigh that much but his skull grew so much to accommodate all that fluid that his head is still disproportionately heavy for his body) and we layer lots of clothing and blankets to keep him cozy. I have bought ski caps in every color so I can coordinate them with his daily outfits,  but that's just how I roll!!
She asked if we wanted to have his hearing tested, but as she watched Daniel "track" my voice with his sightless eyes, she knew his hearing was quite fine.
The upshot of the visit is that he is a healthy very brain -damaged baby boy! Advising me to be aware of the devastating and life-threatening  complications of pneumonia should he aspirate any fluids, she told me that she does not need to see him for a year and that there is nothing she could do for or to him, that he is a miracle all on his own.
The most incredibel moment of the whole visit was when the doctor, looking at the MRI  images, said that Daniel had almsot no brain at all and DANIEL LAUGHED. He doens't laugh oftenk, and its usually when I am stroking his head and singing to him, but I was only holding him in a snuggle at that moment. "Fearfully and wonderfully made" were the Psalmist David's words and they apply every bit as much to a shepherd-turned-King as they do to a baby born in Liberia, left abandoned under a banana tree, "discovered" by a big seasoned family and adopted into that farm family.
ALL the reasons we'd said we would probably not adopt  a child with multiple disabilities fell by the wayside: things like " She/He'd feel left out if we went to do farm chores where the wheelchair or crutches could not go" "He/she would not be able to do.... etc etc....." "A blind child would have a very hard time in our house with its quirky layout and with  the farm itself.." THIS multi-issued baby will never encounter any of those things which would have been valid concerns for an older, LESS disabled child. We can carry him everywhere, he will never fall or stumble anywhere in his house or his yard,  never be or feel left out...
 In short, all those things we praised God that each of our bio-babes did not have when they were born, Daniel HAS: in large measure...all by himself. Who but God would know that a seasoned (OK  "older" ) family whose youngest child was almost 9 , needed this very special baby to be their baby?  But for that family asking God just what HE wanted them to do, and acting in obedience, rather than  reacting out of a sense of what was "practical" or "logical", we would not be blessed with our precious Forever Baby!

Daniel's  brain. The dark areas are brain tissue.

normal brain, same view

More shots than I was able to photograph from Daniel's MRI, but the same view, looking down into a normal brain 

This morning our severe thunder and lightening storm woke Daniel up. Only some good cuddle time with Mommy made it better and  calmed him down. How totally God is it that I just hit a crazy "big" number birthday but I  am thrilled and consider myself "blessed among women" to be the Mamma to a virtual/perpetual 6 week old?

Living Life, loving life!

It's that time in a dairy goat farmer's life when she begins to sell the offspring of the most recent  breedings. Since we have NO DOES to keep so far, we have 2 Sable Saanen bucklings and a Sable/Alpine cross buckling to sell as well as  a stray wethered ( neutered) Boer (meat goat who turned out to be a runt: too small to butcher but a nice enough size to be a companion goat or just a grazer). Hopefully by the weekend I will be less these 4 goats as I prepare for two more does to kid next month or so. These boys are beautiful and Nicholas, the brown and white boy is going to his new home this afternoon. The Boer goes on Saturday. I  "think" I have the other two boys sold as well...if I want to drive an hour + to deliver them. RELIEF!!!! We bottle the three youngest boys three times a day and milk, be it goat or cow milk  for those guys, starts adding up real fast when they drink gallons a day. It's always fun to have baby goats, but you "just know"  when it's time, and NOW is my time!

Naomi helps bottle the babies:Nicholas, Oliver and  Tristan

Oliver

Nicholas,

unashamedly our favorite baby so far this year!

Tristan, who is of the same father as Nicholas and Oliver, out of a different breed mother.
Daffodil, his mother is one of our triplets from last March, and has proven to be as amazing of a milk doe as I had hoped  when I bred her after several years of working toward  THIS  breeding. As  a first time mamma, she is giving us nearly 2 gallons of milk a day AND has the good milking teats and great milk production of her father's lineage along with her mother's superb milk production. I can't wait until her sister Topsy Turvy gives birth in May! Topsy Turvy is my  goat obstetrical miracle bottom-first breech baby . Trustfully she will NOT have triplets for her first kidding because that pretty much promises at least one breech baby when she comes due. If I NEVER deliver another breech baby, it will be fine with me!

Nicholas and Tristan



Nicholas and Oliver.How I wish their triplet sister  Pansy had lived! She looked just like Nicholas!

 Our winter this year has been extreme, even for the extremes we are so famliar with in Oklahoma, our  temperatures actually 100 degrees different last Thursday from the Thursday before! Taking advantage of the 82 degree days last week, we went outside to soak it up. We were babysitting Charlie for Hannah which added to the fun of a beautiful day!

 A week AFTER the -22 temps went away we had 82 degree temps so outside we went!
Charlie loves the swing!

It was even warm enough for Daniel to go out  for a ride in his wagon and enjoy it!

Naomi inviting Lilac our Calico to swing or play with  Charlie

Naomi in her cold weather boots taking Daniel out to visit with the horses

Holly, my Westie came out to play too

Back  in the yard, Daniel had a good ride thanks to his big sister!

Jael came out to play too. This was the beginning of a "Spin Charlie Around" game

` Now that the snow has all melted away and watered the eagerly waiting bulbs in my gardens I am thrilled to report that daffodils and crocus are popping rapidly, with tulips  and hyacynth not far behind. Also visible are the tiny grape hyacynth sproutings. My perennial dianthus are reemerging, joinging the pansies which never died off under all that cold and snow. I LOVE seeing blooming flowers a week after a snow storm!
As farm animals grow and thrive, as flowers do what God intended them to do, my next grandbaby is growing and thriving too!!

10 weeks and 4 days!! Wish I had the shot where Baby Rogers was stretching "her"  arms and legs too! Esther and Casey were super excited to see all that movement and hear the much welcome heart tones!

We are awaiting confirmation that our oldest daughter is also expecting a baby/babies within the next two weeks! The wonders of medical science boggle my brain and that God has allowed man to experience as much of HIS knowledge as he has boggles my brain even more.  I will miss being with Kari for this first ultrasound sadly. I was with her for her first ultrasound of her last pregnancy and I was I   who saw first  that there were TWINS, and not just one baby.

My youngest daughters are visiting  for a few days with their friend Taevy,  who is my dear friend  Anita's  daughter. The original plan was for the girls to be picked up on Sunday  but Naomi who does not do sleep overs very often, got a bit hesitant and THEN realized that she'd made a date with her brothers to watch the NBA  All-Star basketball game thatsame night, she was beside herself with conflict!! Rachel could not care less about basketball so she was fine with the afternoon plan and fine with later on to, but sweet Naomi!! She didn't want to be the least bit rude to Taevy and her family, she REALLY wanted to go, but brothers and basketball??????????????? NO brothers and basketball????????????? Taevy would  still be Taevy after THE Game was over so she picked my brain  and picked my brain and vascilated for quite some time before  deciding that she NEEDED to honor her promise to watch that game AND THEN  if her Daddy would take them to Taevy's house on his way to work the next day, she 'd be at peace with herself . APPARENTLY that   was a great plan because the girls called me this morning to ask if they could stay until Thursday instead of Wednesday afternoon. Ahhhhh, the joys and freedoms of home schooling:  take books along, take computer  work along, visit with fellow-home schooled kiddso and even school becomes a new adventure to share! I am so glad the girls are having a good time; they have been planning for quite some time and the next part of the plan is that Taevy will come visit here  for Spring Break in March.

Do I need to tell you that I MISS MY DAUGHTERS???????????????

WOWZA  I   miss my daughters!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Amazing that my youngest daughters are old enough to be gone from me for days "for fun" and not just for a "have to" kind of occasion. God knew that I would not be ready for my babies to NOT be babies forever, so He blessed me with Daniel   who WILL BE my forever baby! Life is so good because God Who keeps blessing my life is SO VERY  VERY  AWESOMELY GOOD: all the time!!