Wednesday, February 17, 2010

I will lift my eyes

to the Maker of the mountains I can't climb..............like the Liberia mountain. Like the "can't find a plumber who can come to my house yesterday or today" mountain
and the "dishwasher is not working either " mountain. Some "mountains are much smaller than others, for sure!!
I will lift my eyes to the Healer of the hurts I hold inside..like the hurt for sweet Daniel who so desperately needs surgery, and mamma-arms around him. daddy protection over him, my hurts for Junior and for Diamoh, still waiting for Mommy and Daddy to come back for them. They knew we had asked to be their parents for 6 months before we got to meet them last year. Now, its been a year since we did get to meet them, spend time together, form bonds and build hope.I know how I am hurting for them, I wonder what hurts they are harboring. I know some of them, and this makes me hurt more for them all over again. Lord thank You so much that You gave us these precious children to love and to pray over, to care about, even if it is from so far away. Please by Your Spirit minister that love to each of them, with comfort, safety, protection, peace..even if they do not know how to ask You for these things themselves. There are my hurts for Naomi whose Hepatitis B viral load counts keep climbing in spite of ongoing chemo-therapy. So far all of her liver panel numbers are great, but the viral load count: the number of active Hep B virus hanging out in her body, just goes higher and higher. She has a really mutant strain of Hep B which does not respond much if at all to meds, and if it does, it is only for a very short time. Being a small child, her med options are very limited. Being a child causes her body to grow fater than the meds can work agaisnt the virus. Being Asian, her body is least of all the races likely to respond to the medications anyhow. We are so very thankful that she is with us where we have access to great medical care, and can monitor her disease and be ready to act at the first sign of anything going wrong. I praise God that He has kept us from a spirit of fear over the Hep B and what it can potentially do to our daughter, but I hurt for her. She is very pragmatic about taking her meds, we discovered colored plastic shot glasses and marked them with the dose mark to make med taking a bit more creative, we are all open about universal precautions for Hep B but for ALL OTEHR FAMILY COOTIES TOO, but particularly about blood issues. She hates going to the Pedi-Gastro-enterologist: hates it. NOT because of getting blood drawn. That part is her favorite starngely enough. She HATES having to talk about Hep B, hates being the center of attention BECAUSE of Hep B. My gregarious spunky 8 year old turns into Shrinking Violet the moment we enter the hospital where her doctor's office is. She comes out of it when we leave to go to the lab. The lab ladeis know her so well, having drawn her blood for 7 years now (pretty amazing to have lab techs stay that long , I think, Must be a great place to work) but they do NOT talk about Hep B. They talk about the other stuff in Naomi's life: horses (her passion)school: reading and math, her family, where we will go eat after we leave the lab. Those sweet ladies help so much to get Naomi rebalanced, but I digress. She DOES have a serious disease raging inside of her. Her body has yet to recognize the virus or send out a single cell of defense or immunity. Its hard to believe sometimes because she is so full of life and energy. We cherish that, we care for her so carefully, making sure that she eats well, gets good nutrition and vitamins, rest and exercise. As with all of our children, we have filled her, immersed her, exposed her and surrounded her with the saving love of God. She gave her heart to Jesus three years ago; she was baptized two years ago and shared her sweet testimony. Her concern whenever she hears of another sick child IS if that child knows Jesus! She aches for Junior and Diamoh and Daniel to be home with the family so she can love on them!

Lord, I know in Your time You will move these mountains or open the "passes" so that we may climb through them. Keep my eyes focused on YOU and not the mountains or the hurts or whatever they may cause us to experience...............only on YOU so I don't get ahead of You or lag behind. Yes Lord, I will choose to lift my eyes, lift my eyes..................TO YOU!

3 comments:

Mom to 9 Blessings! said...

Oh precious friend!

Sending GOD sized hugs today!

Prayers remain for your precious children and family!

We love you and ache with you!

Keeping my eyes lifted up to the ONLY ONE who can move the mountains before us!

Jill

Kat said...

I didn't know about Naomi's struggles and we will be praying...along with Daniel and your other blessings in Liberia....praying hard.

Autumn Mist said...

Goodness me, I have read this and am lifting you and your family to the Lord today. Although there may be a mountain in Your Way, there is nothing to separate you from Yahweh!