Thursday, August 27, 2009
Leaning on the Everlasting Arms
I had chosen that hymn as part of our Praise and Worship music for this upcoming Sunday, chose it, felt God put it on my heart several weeks ago, for this week.It has been SO right on,so where I am, to sing those words to myself..."What have I to fear , what have I to dread...leaning on the everlasting arms...I have blessed peace with my Lord so near, leaning on the everlasting arms....safe and secure from all alarms........." As I have continued to wait for news about Daniel, hope for forward progress with the whole adoption suspension in Liberia, now more than 7 months old and there has been neither, God has held me in His everlasting arms for sure! I have been very sad today because the end of our available time to travel BEFORE Caleb comes home from Iraq and Hannah's baby comes due, has now come and as I go to sleep tonight, it will have passed. For a bit over 5 months now we've been told that Daniel's case was before the Powers That Be...that they knew about him and were willing to process his case as soon as there was a family who spoke for him. April, May, June, July, and now, essentially August, have passed into history, but Daniel has not passed through the doors of an airplane to come home, or the doors of a doctor's office or surgeon's office so that we might discuss his operative plans or his prognosis for a future. The phone call I was told to expect yesterday about Daniel never happened: yesterday or today. I am so excited that my second oldest son is arriving home for his two weeks ' leave from Iraq .........SO EXCITED!!!!!!!!!!! I am thrilled that Hannah's Baby Charlie, my grandson, is due within the next two weeks. I am so sad that Daniel will not be here to be part of the celebrating, and that he will not be here so that we can celebrate HIS arrival as well. I am sad that the surgery Daniel needs for life itself is still off in the unscheduled future. I have shared so many times that I know God 's ways are perfect, therefore what He does for me as I trust Him, is also perfect and I should be giving thanks in all things, which most definitely includes this part of the family story. I am thankful that God has prepared a time for us: for Junior and Diamoh as well as for Daniel. I know that this God-appointed time is also perfect. It is ME who is not. My prayer is that God make me more pliable, more moldable, more yielding to whatever He,my Heavenly Father has for me, in HIS timing. I am a "do-er" which means that I don't sit on my hands very often or very well. LINDA acts, Linda DOES!!!!! Well in this, Linda can not "do" anything to change the pace or the lack of rules governing all the needy children in Liberia, or do anything to expedite anything. Yet, I can pray. I am praying almost all the time, and I don't believe that I am whining, but today I am asking God to catch all my tears in His bottle (Psalm 65:8) and show His oomfort to me in my sadness over not being able to be with my baby. I am praying increased protection over my little son. I am praying that tomorrow I am able to talk to the person who needs to call me, praying that I get the answers to the many questions we have about what is going on with Daniel's case, praying that there is true, certain forward progress in getting Daniel home. In that too, I am sad because for months I have hoped the day of travel would come SOON, and right now I have to pray that our approval to travel NOT come right now and pray that Daniel's hydrocephaly not deteriorate any further as he lays waiting for us to come for him. Daniel is and was and will be God's child regardless of where he is. God will not let go of Daniel. How I pray that I were saying that today too, or that I knew when I would be saying to him, "Sweet baby Mommy is not going to leave you or let go of you!" So I let go, I lay it all down before our Heavenly Father's throne, and lean................on His everlasting arms!