Earthquakes of the physical and emotional variety

At about 10:53 tonight, right after we all finished watching our Oklahoma State University Cowboys football team win their 8th straight game this season, Undefeated this year, I had just sent my football fan kiddos to get ready for bed when IT  rocked the house and everyone came back into the living room to ask "WAS THAT an E A R T H Q U A K E  ??""  The USGS initially called it a 5.2 magnitude but quickly upgraded to 5.6. We didn't have any damage, but it was a very different kind of excitement, even after that close adn important football game. We'd been cheering for our Other home state team LSU Tigers as well and minutes , maybe A  minute before the Cowboys won, the Tigers won their game as well. BIG EXCITEMENT !!!!!
The tremor  honestly rivaled and maybe was dwarfed by  the events of the last month in our household. We were made aware of a baby in Missouri who has the same diagnosis as Daniel, whose very young  single mom had  placed him for adoption. Several people from several very different areas of my life contacted me , unbeknownst to each other,  about this baby and  eventually,  we  were asked if we might BE this   baby' s adoptive family and if we'd consider adopting him. We submitted a profile letter for the birth mother to review  and  talked as a family about having another Hydranencephalic baby in our family. This little guy is more severely affected than Daniel but just as loved by our Heavenly Father as any of the rest of us. The mother chose between the two families the agency presented to her  after  they had sorted through several dozen family requests and profiles. We had re-started out home study process in light of this and keeping it up dated for Liberia...............  the mother chose the Other Family. We had talked about how God presents us with things sometimes and asks us if we are willing to trust Him with the "unusual"  or unexpected. Charlie explained to the children that we need to be  ready and willing to obey God when He asks something of us. When we shared with the children that we had not been chosen, Charlie told them, "sometimes God just asks IF we are willing, but doesn't always require the action...kind of like Abraham preparing to sacrifice his son Isaac. We do have to always be ready to obey God."  FAST FORWARD  one week exactly. The agency called me back to say that the Other Family had backed out and did we want to be considered still/ again. Charlie and I talked, we knew that this baby was very likely to remain hospitalized for a long time, is likely to not live very long. A lot of "Are you up to caring for two special needs babies?" ensued, and we agreed to move forward and start the process. In the midst of  all our annual eye doctor exams and dental check-ups  ( and two children having oral surgery and wisom teeth extracted  AND an emergency oral surgery for a stuck tooth too) we got all the required doctor visits done and documented for an updated home study, Charlie and I got our finger prints  done and mailed off with bakground check forms. He encouraged me to press OSBI for an expedited processing for the sake of the babie's life. Accomplishing all this, we were asked when we'd come to visit Baby "V" in NE Missouri.This past weekend was decided upon..  Time off work requested and granted, Hotel reservations  made, appointments were set up with the medical staff and the attorney handling the adoption for us/the agency.    On Wedensday night after prayer meeting at church as we drove home Charlie and I spoke to the children about the baby's NEW NAME. Several preferences were voiced... Jacob, Matthew, Levi, Benjamin, Gabriel. Naomi liked Michael: as in Michael W. Smith. Rachel liked Jacob. Isaac and Noah said we knew too many Jacobs already. I suggested Levi which most everyone liked, including Charlie, who has always liked that name. Isaac sugested  Gabriel because he liked that Gabriel was an angel and he liked the stories. Gabriel Levi got the most support and "YAH!!!"s   So, when we got up super early on Friday morning to drive to Missouri , we were adopting another special needs baby. whom we were goingto call Gabriel Levi, but NOT  "Gabe."   We were going to have another son. As we drove, shortly after leaving the house,  Charlie said  to me  "This adoption doesn't feel  right to me" and he  that didn't want to go forward any more , or even go to Missouri at all,  but he kept driving. I was in shock, but for three hours as he kept driving he said the same thing. "It doesn't feel right to me'". 
The attorney called as we were  talking and crossing into Missouri to ask if we'd decided on the baby's new name so that he could put it in the paperwork. Charlie told me to tell him that we were backing out. Period.  He then had me call the agency case worker to tell her the same thing. In less than two minutes, the Plan Presented, the Request given and accepted,  all the hard work and planning and the  turning -around future of a  very challenged, sick baby were unraveled. What  I sensed and saw  as God presenting an experienced family with a child they understood the needs of, a child easily  nearby for sake of completing the process, God blessing us with a child to love and care for who was not going to grow up, or need much more than love,   God saying , " I need you to do THIS"..............was now suddenly......stopped.  Charlie had told me that when the Other Family backed out he had had a feeling that was going to happen and he was already prepared for that . Strangely I had felt that way too, and so had the case worker............... I was not prepared for "stop".
We aren't talking about it at all. Charlie says it's over and he is at peace with it.
It is my deepest soul -felt prayer that the baby, "V". Gabriel Levi, does get his forever family, soon,  because their "forever " together is not doing to be be very long and because of us, they maybe have a month less.  It is my prayer that they are in unity of purpose and plan as they go forward with V's adoption, that the enemy not confuse anyone's thinking or cause anyone to "lean on thier own understanding".  I am praying for peace, and understanding, words to share with our children about how "Being ready to obey " and "Being willing to say 'yes' to God" fit this story while showing the respect for their Daddy that I need to show and  that they need to be  living as well. I am praying for healing and communication. I am praying against hurt, anger, confusion and a root of bitterness which I do NOT want to allow to take root and grow into REAL bitterness. I am praying for clarity for everyone in this chapter of our lives. IF I missed God, I want to know where I started to miss and how I didn't see that.  I want to understand what Charlie sensed and felt so strongly to act against.  If I DIDN'T,  I pray that God will be asking us again soon to trust and obey Him in something else.   I am praying for CLARITY.
 It's National Adoption Awareness month, November , and tomorrow is Orphan Sunday in churches around the world. My heart is so tender for the many, many children in our world who so desperately need FAMILY; having to leave one behind with whom I'd already begun an attachment  and while still praying for our two in Liberia who seem to have less and less chance of ever coming home, my ORPHAN AWARENESS is at an all time high.  I am however rejoicing with several friends who have recently been matched with new adoptive children, very excited for several ladies I am mentoring who plan to adopt within the next few years. Not everyone one is called into adopting a large, and larger family    but it is my belief , my hope and my prayer that  MANY MORE families will begin looking afresh  at James 1:27 and asking God.  "WHO is WAITING FOR US?"  and then to  pursue and add to their families through the wonderful act of obedience and blessing which is adoption.
WHAT AN EARTHQUAKE of excitement on earth and in heaven if families would come forward for the millions of waiting orphans. We've been blessed 7 times so far to completion by adoption. Our "season"  is drawing to a close one of these days............Like with  Elijah and Elisha, my prayer is that we will be handing our "mantle" to others who may experience a DOUBLE PORTION of what we have been so richly blessed by God with!!!  I'm sad for my "right now"  but I am excited because I know that God is far from done!!!  Blessed be the name of the Lord!